Sasha Marie Beans

It's been a long time since I wrote in here. Lots of stuff happening.

The thugs finally moved out of their apartment. I guess peeing in their territory every day finally drove them away. Now there are some other puppies that have moved in that I like. Baby Beau is a mini pinscher and Baby Fish is a Chihuahua. I like to play with them both.

They remodeled the tennis court, so at first we thought I couldn't play on it anymore, but we found out that people still take their dogs, AND punk teenagers hang out there to drink beer, so I still get to play. I like to go out and play ball every day. I've learned to go under the net as a shortcut. My daddy wants me to jump the net but I think it's too high.

Lastly, I would like to express my concern at an epidemic currently sweeping the nation: Cat-speak. Don't even tell me you eated my cookie or that you can haz cookie. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, taking on the language of the enemy.

Some little snot just moved into the building next door. Every time I walk by there, he barks at me. Then his follower friend barks too, just because his friend barks.

They came by my window the other day and came close to me and started barking. At my window! Little punk. He thinks he's all that, but he's not. I'd like to see him try and face me when we don't have a layer of human glass separating us. I'm three times as big.

Last week, Mommy had a friend over to see me who hasn't come to see me since right when I got adopted. He bet my mommy that if he gave me an altoid, I wouldn't eat it.

I totally showed him. I ate it up really quick and asked for another one, but I didn't get any more. Not fair. It was so delicious.

Take my food
take my dish
Take me where I cannot fish

I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take my bones from me

Take me out
To the snack
Tell it it ain't comin' back

Burn the fish
And boil the meat
You can't take my bones from me

There's no place
I can't pee
Since I found my mommy

And you can't take my bones from me~

Humans are so overrated.

A pat on the head may be quite sentimental, but rawhide is a girr's best friend.

I think I hurt my tail. Since last night it has been a little droopier than normal. This morning, I can hold it up, but the tip still curls down funny. I hope it gets better soon.

Mommy took this one at Puppy Kindergarten when I came to say hi. It was my last day.

( More pictures )

I do what I want 'cause a puppy is free, I am a puppy!

Arf, arf, wiggle wee wee
Being a puppy is awesome to be
I do what I want 'cause a puppy is free
( I am a puppy! )

Tonight is the night I graduate from puppy kindergarten. I'm awesome.

But I'm sad I might not see my friends anymore :(

There are lots of interesting noises outside. Mommy and Daddy have been keeping the windows open to keep it cooler inside, but I can't get outside. It's not fair. I want to go chase all those people, maybe pee on their shoes.

Mommy gave me a bandana to wear. Now I'm a bandit. I'm going to go rob the gravy train.

I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy plotting against that stupid cat that comes to taunt me at the window every night.

Puppy Kindergarten is going pretty well. Mommy and Daddy learned how to bribe me into doing all sorts of stuff with treats! One time the teacher told them that they didn't have good enough treats for training, and that they needed something more than everyday treats, but I like ALL treats.

Mommy hurt her ankle and we haven't been able to go play outside like we usually do :( Daddy takes me a lot too, but it's just not always the same.

Ingredients:
One medium Sasha
One blanket
One package breakfast sausage
1/2 cup pickle relish
2 jiggers cooking sherry
20 cc sodium pentathol
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 sprig rosemary
1 cup monkey blood (optional)
1 can canned peas
1 can canned corn

Instructions:
Preheat a frypan to medium heat and add sausage. Wrap Sasha in blanket. Combine pickle relish, sherry, sodium pentathol, cinnamon, rosemary, monkey blood, peas, and corn in a large bowl and mix well. Remove sausage from heat and feed to Sasha. Discard other ingredients.

Today, Mommy (if that IS her REAL name) made both tasty ramen with boiled egg and some delicious biscuits. Did she share with me? Of course not.

She's so mean!

I'm going to chew up something that belongs to her next time she isn't looking.

I had such a fun time last night/this morning with all of my new friends. It's so nice of Mommy to bring friends over just for me!

baby_arthur was my favorite. He petted my face and I gave him lots of slurp kisses and he laughed. :)

He had some really nice-looking toys, but I was a good girl and just ripped up the doll Mommy gave me some more. I got all the stuffing out of the head. It was pretty cool.

I'm too beansy for my fur
Too beansy for my fur
Too beansy for my fur
So beansy it hurts

I'm a puppy
You know what I mean
And I chase my little tail on the enemywalk
On the enemywalk
Oh, on the enemywalk
I just wag my little tail on the enemywalk

I think I'd really like to try a popsicle, but Mommy and Daddy were so mean and they didn't let me have a lick or a bite or anything.

Yesterday, a big black dog attacked me. He was on the loose by the tennis court. Mommy was taking me to play ball, but we didn't get to play. Luckily, some nice men grabbed the mean dog, and I jumped out of the way of his teeth. Remember, everyone, please spay or neuter your dogs and don't let them run loose. Aside from attacking nice pups like me, there are other dangers like cars.

I don't like to get wet, but I like to bite the water when Mommy and Daddy turn on the shower. It tastes good and sometimes I hope if I bite it I can make it go away.

Today Mommy and Daddy went over to my Grandma and Uncle Chawie's place to do some laundry. I ran all around the house. I ran so fast that my uncle said that my name should be Sonic. I don't really get it, but if he's some kind of hedgehog, I wonder if he's as good to chew on as Harry was. I sent Harry to heaven. He's still not back.

When we were leaving the house, these two little punk mop dogs across the street started barking at me like they wanted to start something. What, they thing just because they're purebred they're better than me? I could wipe the floor with them, or at least make Mommy and Daddy wipe my pee off the floor with them. That's what mops are good for.

Tomorrow I'll talk about the almight car ignition and air conditioner.

Mommy and Daddy signed me up for Puppy Kindergarten on Friday. I was kind of pissed, but then they bought me a new bed and a hamburger. Hamburger makes squeaky noises and I can't wait to rip out its heart.

Yesterday, Daddy forgot to tell Mommy that he didn't take me out in the morning, so I peed on the floor right in front of the door just as Mommy had me on my leash. It was pretty awesome. I think Mommy was kind of mad.

When Mommy got home at night, she didn't feel very good, so I hit her with the empty shell of Sheepy Sheep. I don't think she liked it, so I tried to lick her to make up for it. She smelled like The Enemy. There must have been cats where she went.